Happy Daughter's day!

It has been more than a month and I haven't vented out things off my chest for long now. Sometimes I go through this weird phase where I let every thought every emotion build up and then a day comes when I blast like a bomb. Sometimes I need a trigger to write things down and then the thoughts automatically start building up, my hands automatically run on the keyboard and I end up writing a whole write-up in 3-4 hours. Anyway, today is daughter's day apparently and people have been posting videos, photos, quotes, and whatnot. The internet is practically overflowing with such posts today. Many people are posting feminist quotes either to impress people on social media or just to be a part of the crowd. So here I was, lying down on my bed, scrolling through my Whatsapp as if I had no other job in the world and saw a post that read "Teach your daughters how to slap in public and break a leg. Gol roti can wait." and something triggered me to write my thoughts down. So this person who posted this is a close friend of mine and I was a bit surprised as to what made her post such a thing. So I pondered over it for a while and wrote it down. 

A few months back, I was surfing on Youtube and there is this Youtuber called Shwetabh Gaangwar and I came across this video on his channel titled "Sarvjeet Singh: What I went through because of one angry girl" I watched the whole video and I was shocked to the core after going through various news articles about this case. I was also a bit ashamed that after spending years on social media I was unaware of this case. So those of you who don't know this case, let me tell you what happened in brief from what I gathered from the news pieces. So back in 2015 a girl named Jasleen Kaur posted a picture of a guy named Sarvjeet Singh on her social media account and wrote a detailed description of how that particular guy made obscene comments on her after having some dispute over a red signal in Delhi and that nobody intervened so she decided to stand up for herself. She further wrote that today this guy has the audacity to say these things, tomorrow he might move one step ahead and actually do it. Within minutes of this incident, social media went berserk. Social media is such a  powerful tool that they can make a monster out of an innocent person and make a hero out of a criminal. When the internet calls a man a 'darinda', 'perver', 'molester' time and again we are bound to believe that because we are fed that information. On the other hand when the internet calls a girl 'brave', 'bechari' we will believe her side of the story.  The guy wrote his side of the story too but the news media saw a potential TRP gainer juicy story and without cross-checking any facts went ahead and without any substantial piece of evidence, labeled that guy as a molester and a pervert. The CM of Delhi lauded her bravery and the guy got arrested within hours. The social media of course gave a benefit of doubt to the girl and shared her story without listening to the other side of it. Sarvjeet Singh got a clean chit and was acquitted on 25th October 2019, after 4 god damn long years of fighting this battle he did not even wish to sign up for in the first place. He lost his job and he and his family went through psychological trauma which probably must have scarred him for life. No news media covered this news of his acquittal. Nobody apologized to him for accusing him of things he did not do and the girl wasn't even punished by the law for filing a fake complaint.  What the media is doing with the Sushant Singh-Rhea Chakravarty case is the same. We have labeled her as a witch and a monster because we have been fed with that information time and again. The only difference is that the roles have been reversed.

There was one such similar case in 2014, where two girls famous as Rohtak sisters or Sonepat sisters, beat some young men in a bus and that video went viral. These sisters too were appreciated for their act of bravery and prize money was also announced for them for taking a stand up to those men who allegedly harassed them. The local police arrested those men under various sections. Two of the guys had cleared the army physical test but were no longer allowed to appear for the written exam. After trial and investigation, it was found that the hassle took place over a bus seat and those men never harassed the sisters, and in 2017 all the charges were dropped against those men but alas they had already lost their jobs!    

The reason I mentioned these two horrific stories is that we as a society need to understand one basic fact that crime has no gender. Just because a girl has complained doesn't mean she is right. I am not suggesting that one should not put trust in the girl's version of truth because it takes immense guts to stand up for yourself in such cases. All I am saying is that why can't we be more sensible and patient enough to listen to both sides of the story and then give our judgment. Why can't we teach our kids to be not so judgemental and gender-biased? I understand that women have been victims of verbal and physical molestation, sexual harassment, domestic violence, marital rape and are much more vulnerable than men but are we so blinded by our notion that we do not even bother to listen to the other side of the story?

Gender-based violence is extremely prevalent globally. Women feel empowered when they beat the shit out of a guy. It gives a different kind of high even seeing a female beating punching or kicking someone. I personally feel so good and pumped up after watching the scene from Chak de India where a bunch of girls beats the hell out of those people in the cafeteria who misbehave with them. Feels like waging a personal vendetta against guys. I guess the anger, the frustration is so ingrained in our DNA that I could personally beat the next man I see on the street over the silliest reason. But this kind of behavior just to satisfy our ego and venting out years of frustration is only going to make things worse. Instead of understanding each other as individuals, we are more divided than we ever were. Women have suffered a lot of harassment on every front every single day be it at home or job but does that really justify us blaming others falsely just to take out our frustration? 

Let us make our daughters strong and sensible to stand up for the right. Let us teach them that "hit when it needs to be hit and think when it needs to be thought."  

Let us all create an environment that is safe for our girls and boys as well.

"Teach your daughters to be sensible enough to decide whether to slap someone in public and break their legs. Gol roti can definitely wait." 

And in case someone says your rotis aren't gol enough then definitely break their legs 😊

Happy Daughter's Day!