Feminists as we are.

A few years ago I remember to have commented something I considered "funny" at that time on a Facebook post which made fun of men and the problems they face on a daily basis. One of my brothers messaged me saying that was outright offensive and that I should be sensitive towards the feelings of men as well and how would I feel if a similar offensive joke was cracked on a woman. I was immensely immature and the little rebel and the then so-called woke liberal (lol) in me retaliated by saying don't tell me what to do, this is my personal life and I will comment on whatever subject I want to and will make fun of whatever topic I want to because even women are made fun of so I am just restoring the balance of the Universe. A few days later when things got back to normal and my temper was restored and when I was in the condition to listen to people, he patiently explained it to me how men have feelings too and how it is offensive to make fun of anyone and how one should be respectful towards everyone irrespective of their gender and how one should treat everyone equally. That day, ladies and gentlemen, I got introduced to the concept of Feminism and it took a "man" to make me understand what feminism actually meant. After that day we frequently discussed on how feminism is misunderstood, how things are changing in our society exponentially and how the men of our generation are unable to cope up with the females getting empowered by demanding equality and how the women of our generation are unable to handle the pressure of this ongoing trend of empowerment and equality.  

Feminism has become a buzzword nowadays on social media but do we ever bother to understand the actual meaning of it? It is considered fancy or cool to call ourselves "Feminists" but do we really try to understand what it means at its core? Thanks to social media, our movies, and the actors (the so-called woke liberals) for portraying feminism in such a negative light that whoever calls themselves feminists nowadays are considered hypocrites or are hated. We are being fed Ekta Kapoor's super-regressive daily soaps and Bollywood's ultra-progressive culture at the same time and we cannot decide which one to follow. To be Sati or to be slutty is the question? Well, both are equally extreme in their portrayal and harmful to our brain cells so kindly do not follow either. Social media and movies have taught us that feminism is about misandry, female superiority, male-bashing, hatred towards men, accusing men of every little thing by blowing things out of proportion, falsely accusing innocent men and taking revenge for being the victims of the patriarchal mindset, playing blame-game and victim card as per our convenience, mocking fellow females who don't share similar ideologies, wearing revealing clothes, drinking alcohol, using cuss words because it gives a sense of liberation, etc. Ladies, the joke is on us. What we think is Feminism is actually called sexism or pseudo feminism and we are doing the exact same things that we don't want others to do. Let me tell you, feminism is not about all the hatred towards a particular gender, in fact, it has nothing to do with the gender of the person at all. The concept of feminism is about creating equality in all aspects of life for "all the genders" 

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Feminism is not limited to females and no we do not hate men. Any goddamn person can be a feminist. Anyone who creates a comfortable atmosphere for people to grow and someone who respects other people's feelings and views (even if they differ) regardless of gender is a feminist. Anyone who supports their kids, parents, siblings, friends, or spouse to grow in life mentally, emotionally, financially is a feminist. It is also a wrong belief that women who willingly choose to stay at home cook food, do household chores, and support the kids and the family instead of going to work are regressive. No, they are not. They have chosen to work inside the house as opposed to someone who works outside the house. Both are equally feminists and empowered. 

The problem lies in people we consider our idols. We look up to these actors and actresses who don't even know what feminism is about and give out mind-numbingly dumb statements and people hoot and applaud (wtf!) for eg. during some promotional event Mrs. Kareena Kapoor Khan was asked if she is a feminist and she replied by saying that she is not a feminist but believes in equality (facepalm). We look up to these glamorous actresses who wear revealing clothes as a symbol of equality because apparently if men can roam around naked why can't we? We look up to stand up comedians especially female stand up comedians who crack unfunny, lame, and sexist jokes on males and their body parts and feel empowered (idiots!), and the audience cheers and uproars in laughter (or maybe they are crying for help?). We look up to movies that portray misandry and always show the men in a negative role hampering the growth of a female protagonist. In my personal experience, I have seen men genuinely supporting my career way more than all the females put together. Females who wear traditional attires or follow certain traditions are also made fun of by fellow females because it is not considered cool and under peer pressure, we all follow the mob mentality. Mothers teach their daughters that they should know all the household chores and should be well behaved and mannerly but they forget to teach their sons the same thing. (Fortunately, the men in my life know how to cook food and do all the work even when a female is around). Many times when a girl tops any examination the news channel put the headline "ladki ne baazi mar li aur ladko ko pachhada". Why is there any need to put emphasis on the gender of the topper? Isn't that a kind of discrimination? There are women who expect men to give their seats while traveling on a bus or a train and these same women will cry when someone calls them the weaker sex. (Didi agar itne hi empowered ho to khade reh ke travel karlo. Aapko ladko ki seat bhi chahiye aur fir equality ke nare bhi lagane hai. Aisa kaise chalega Didi?) Of course in exceptional cases, such as pregnant women, ill or old people, seats should be given to them. When a guy slaps a girl for being disloyal Neha Didi tells him "It is her choice whether she wants one or five boyfriends, nobody gives you the right to slap her" and Nikhil Chinappa asks that guy who is he to expect loyalty from his girlfriend (lol, kill me already. I really hope he was being sarcastic). In the same show when a girl proudly says I slapped all my boyfriends, Neha Didi applauds! So in our society, if a girl slaps a guy she is empowered and the guy definitely did something wrong and if a guy slaps a girl we again blame him and call him na-mard without analyzing the situation (Taaliyan bajti rehni chahiye!) This reminds me of Saravjeet and Jasleen Kaur case. read about it you haven't already. There are certain videos on Youtube that promote such non-sense where some girls are asked to give out a message to their future mother-in-law and most of them say " I won't cook food, I won't work in the kitchen." Why? Working in the kitchen or knowing how to cook will make you less empowered? One of the women says "I won't give you a grandson and if I give birth to a son I will parcel him to you." So much of hatred for an unborn child. So they successfully mocked their future mother in law, judged her character without knowing anything about her, and parcelled their unborn son to her already? (cringe x 100!). There was one more video where some women ask questions to Indian men and don't even get me started on the hypocrisy of the video. At one point a woman is asking the men not to judge her if she does not want to wax her body and on the other hand, the same woman is asking the men to shave their beard. Make your mind woman! 

It is high time we change our idols and look up to people like Rani Laxmibai, Savitri Bai Phule, Anandi Gopal Joshi, Laxmi Sehgal, Flight Lieutenant Avani Chaturvedi, Gunjan Saxena, Mithali Raj, Mary Kom, Saina Nehwal, Phogat sisters, PV Sindhu, Kangana Ranaut and many such people who in spite of all the odds fought for what they wanted instead of sitting and complaining all day long. They might not seem glamorous but they are the real inspiration. They paved their way to the top with hard work. These people and their families are the true symbols of feminism and women empowerment and I am sure there are many more who are not famous but represent feminism in its truest sense.    

I think it is high time that we all agree to the fact that biologically,  and structurally men and women are different, their strengths and weaknesses are different. Why is there a constant need to compete against each other? Instead of racing against each other just to prove who is stronger and who is weaker, why don't we stand together, complement each other, understand, support, and empower each other? Why can't we, rather why don't we appreciate and respect our differences and co-exist? None of us is perfect so dear ladies why don't we try and empathize with all the societal pressures men go through and dear men why don't you try and be open to accepting the fact that women are becoming financially, emotionally independent and that there is no need to get intimidated by powerful, confident and smart women and that there is no need to get your male ego hurt? I am sure the day we remove the veil called gender from our eyes we will see only human beings.

      

As I conclude this blog, I want to thank all the men in my life for showing me the right path and teaching me to respect people based on their character rather than their gender.    

Fun fact: Did you know the feminist movement in India was initiated by men initially and then later joined by females? 

P.s: Feminism ke naam pe kuch bhi mat karna, please :)